There's a musical playing right now at BYU that I'm not going to see. Casey at the Bat it's called, and already I'm cranky. I'm on the committee that decides these things--I've read the script. That's why I'm boycotting it. It's not just a bad book for a mediocre musical. Lots of musicals have bad books--'book' means 'script' in musicalese--including some really popular ones. My favorite is the Elton John Aida. Okay, at the end of the musical, Radames, the Egyptian prince, and Aida, the Nubian princess/slave he's fallen in love with are running from the cops/Egyptian army. There's this bridge. If they cross the bridge, they're safe. If they don't cross the bridge, they'll be captured and tortured to death. They stand on the bridge. They sing a very long love duet, which goes on long enough for the cops/Egyptian army to catch up with them. Honestly, I'm not kidding, that's what happens. They sing and sing and sing and get their silly butts caught. Apparently, it never occurs to them to sing once they're across the bridge; nope, that song's gotta get sung right that very second. I laughed out loud in the theater, earning the eternal enmity of many many weeping coeds. When they die together--tragically, so tragically--I kept thinking about the Darwin awards, how killing these two dunces just improved the gene pool something considerable. I mean, that's bad writing. Right? Well, Casey at the Bat is worse than that. More...